:: Friday, May 31, 2002 ::

Decided to just put on some funny pictures...



1.Hmm... should I get laser treatment? Oh... green eyes.
2. Yay.. wait... hmm...
3. Okay... this machine looks a bit freaky... woah... it's bright... radiation...
4. Hmm bald... yay.



Campus Challenge group HETH!!! Yang's big fat head takes the centre. From left to right: Dave, Big Jon, Me, Karen, and Ernie.

:: Jesse 12:36 AM

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Yay... and the winner of the 4000th hit goes to Jennifer Yee! A lil interview will follow shortly...

Every morning is beautiful. After 2 years of taking a bus to school every morning (heck, last year I started class at 12pm daily, what kind of morning is that?) I realized that I missed out on nature's beauty. Every morning is 15 minutes of time with God as I ride my bike peacefully along the Thames River. Maybe I'll take my digicam tmrw (if it doesn't rain) and take pics of the path I take. It's kinda like one of those Don Valley trails that go along a river with oh so smooth pavement. Oh... another funny thing... in London for some very very strange reason, the sewers always produce this toxic steam. Very Batman like. Even in the summer! It's pretty nasty as I pull up to a stop light, waiting for the light to change and it looks as if I've got some super powers while waiting on top of the grate. Haha.

Praise the Lord for His faithfulness. It's been about almost 2 weeks since Campus Challenge, and the work that the Lord has been doing is purging the hearts of men. For myself, I've been reading the stories, the triumphs, the struggles... and it only encourages me more that the body of Christ is building itself up. The little things that we can do, like meet up in person and share, are like the many fibres that build on top of each other and collectively reinforce to form a blood clot. Each fibre alone is completely susceptible to being dissolved in the harsh conditions of the external environment, but because of the solid foundation of a few, each builds on top of another and finally becomes insoluble and protects from further external infection. Just as we are all very susceptible to sin when we don't even notice it's power on us, collectively we can help purge those sins and battle them with accountability. BLOOD!

:: Jesse 5:19 PM

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I've decided to move my photo album to MSN communities. Not only does Yahoo photos destroy the quality of the pictures... well it only does that and it really kills the photos. MSN only has 3 megs of space... and I've used it up already with pics. There are new ones up from ACF summer retreat, some new ones from rollerbladin and ... hopefully more!

:: Jesse 7:34 PM

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WHITNEY'S BEEN AXED OFF SMALLVILLE!?!?!?!?

WHAT!?!?!?! Now what's gonna keep Lana in check and not toy with Clark's heart? Jeez... and now Chloe's going to Metropolis for the summer... how on earth could they cut Whitney? I think he did a real good job in his last episode but... dang... I dunno if Smallville's ever gonna be the same... so much suspense!!!!!!!

:: Jesse 12:39 AM

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Who's gonna be the 4000th hit?
Whoever gets the 4000th hit, please email me and, well lets just say u get a prize :)

:: Jesse 9:09 PM

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The sun is out. The birds are chirping. The lady bugs are absolutely everywhere. Poo. Well here are some wonderful pics from the retreat... there's more! Just click the "Photo Album" link on the left and you'll get there!




The top pic is of me and Zhang Ziyi... well I thought she looked like Ziyi when I first met her... she's going to back to Taiwan really really soon.... :( but it's been a real blessing with her around. She made it specially back for the retreat. The top right picture is a big head. That's Connie and she's pretty moody. She's wearing her Hong Kong style glasses and being really really intimidating. Haha Haha. Hahah. HAhahah. The bottom two pictures are of me lovely counselors. I talk about them so much. That's Roger on the left and Pam on the right. Well they're very rare pictures because 1) Roger never smiles, 2) Pam is looking really hip in those orange glasses and 3) They're not together in the same picture. Retreat was a real blast, we played some crazy Ultimate frisbee on the shores of Lake Huron. The beach as infested too with LOTS and LOTS of lady bugs. What a shame. Nasty... so crunchy and crispy when you step on them. Bleah... we had a wonderful picnic with our own packed lunches. So proud of my bagels with cream cheese, cucumbers and tomatoes. (Thanks Brian for the lifelong recipie!) Soon after, though it would be a pouring day, we would gather in our cars and share about Watchman Nee in the comforts of Hondas and Toyotas!

Oh yeah... I do look pretty punky with shaved head. My parents haven't even seen this yet.

Speaking of other blogs, it's been a real pleasure finally meeting some people at CC that I've never been able to put a face to. And boy oh boy it takes a whole afternoon to check up and catch up on people's lives from their blogs. Speaking of which, Lydia and Matt, I swear for the longest time I thought u two were going out and I thought u were the cutest couple too. I guess I was one of the people lead astray. (Why did you think I was doing that "tsk tsk" notion in the caf?) hee hee hee.

It's been great, with things settling down, accountability conversations growing in foundation and trust and truth instead of rushing and anxiety. Please continue in your walk my brothers, and pray that the Lord will have his way in us. As a very wonderful and wise quote from a brother,

"We need to continue seeking the Blesser and not simply His blessings of purity. I pray we all become so consumed with Christ that there no longer remains any room in our lives for sin."

:: Jesse 12:00 AM

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So so so so so so so so so so so cool. Something awesome. My boss invited me into his office to have a chat… he brought up the fact that after talking to Ron Burdock (one of the board members of the company I’m working with and was also our retreat speaker last year) he knew that I was part of the ACF. He started talking about how he was and still works with the Navigators, and how he is a devoted Christian himself. So cool. You know what happens next? He takes a bible out and shares scripture from Jeremiah, how to help the poor and needy is equivalent to knowing the Lord, and that is exactly what he is doing. How cool is that? Wow… businessmen that are really working for the Lord. It’s given me so much enthusiasm and desire to work here! How could it be any better? What an awesome place. Praise the Lord for not only providing a job, but a place where I can play my Christian music when I work, trying to play loud enough to drown out the Christian music from the cubicle beside me. So cool. Praise God. Praise Him. Praise Him. Praise Him.

ACF retreat tmrw! We’re going to Pinery Provincial Park. Too bad the forecast says there’s a 70% chance of rain. We’ll see what happens till then. We’ll see where the sharing in the group will go towards. As for Pursuit of Purity, it’s coming along, and we’re becoming more aware of how we really need to trust in the Lord’s guidance in this area.

Yay. So good. I’m tired from working but I’m so encouraged working here.

:: Jesse 2:31 PM

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I ask the Lord for wisdom. I realized that some of my actions in recent times were a bit impatient and require more prayer than action. I'm discovering, slowly, that once I have an idea from the Lord I rush into implementation before carefully planning out my steps. Some of you may realize that I've taken my testimony offline. That's cuz well I'd rather now give the option for you to ask me to send it instead of posting it to the entire world. Brothers, don't resist in asking. Sisters, make sure you're prepared to read about a man's struggles.

I have been aware of the enemy's every attempt in discouraging any movement in this area. Still waiting upon starting up anything solid cuz communication is getting slower due to return to school and work. I must admit that work has been extremely demanding. My position turned from being a graphic designer to becoming more of a marketing director. The job is absolutely wonderful, in that pretty much the company is 40% Christian. I found out that ACF 2001 winter retreat's speaker is on the board of directors for the company! It's a wonderful agency helping people get employment and get off welfare.

But back to this whole ordeal on sexual purity, I had a wonderful conversation with Wongos in which he gave some sound advice and realistic action plans. I'm hoping to just get some communication going, some brain storming going, and eventually move into building some accountability groups around. Yeah... please pray. Some sisters have really shown support and love and care and understanding, more than we could ever ask for.

Men, prepare yourselves.

:: Jesse 11:38 PM

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Sunday night, May 19th rolled around and I found myself sitting in a room of about 35 Christians during the sharing night of CC (Campus Challenge). The sharing was going a bit slow, people were falling asleep, and others looked eager to leave the room and chat elsewhere. It was my first year at CC and I wasn’t having the best of times. I didn’t really feel like sharing anything, but the Lord spoke clearly to me that night. In recent times I’ve understood what it meant to edify the body of Christ by sharing and ministering to others, so without another second of delay, I shared. I shared so intimately, and actually without much difficulty to the group. I saw the look of desperation in the eyes of some of the men in that room. I felt a bit awkward saying this to people I never knew, especially to the sisters sitting there with us. But I let go of my flesh and trusted that the Lord wanted to do something. After sharing, I closed my eyes, prayed a prayer of thanksgiving in my heart for courage and truthfulness to say what I did that night.

The room grew silent (I thought everyone was so overwhelmed and I thought I messed up the sharing because I thought, how on earth do you follow something like that?!?!?). After a few random sharings the men started to share. Some of them were so convicted, they were shaking while sitting on the floor. Some of these men, respected and trusted leaders of fellowships and small groups, began testifying and confessing their sexual sins and the bondage they have endured all these years. Men of faith began to pray and share, and slowly the night began to plunge deeper. Finally, a brother, so convicted of his sin, so convicted of his shame, so convicted of himself began to share so openly with the 35 people in the room. I felt the holy spirit rush in the room and purge this man’s heart. It was so sad to hear how sexual sin had abused his mind and heart for all these years. Right when he had finished and the men were about to lay hands on him to pray, a sister in the room obeyed the Lord’s calling to move all the women out of the room so that true healing and prayer could be executed. We rushed to him. Not one second longer did we want to see him suffer. Not one second longer did we want him to be abused by sin. Not one second longer did we want to see him in his state. We ran to him. The room was so small but we ran to him. If only I had a tape to remember all the words that were said by the men in that room. We didn’t know everyone, yet the Lord’s bond built inside of us drew us so close in conviction to pray and to ask for healing. I must say that it was one of the greatest moments in my Christian walk. I was so amazed at what had been locked up so long was now being set free.

That night was so amazing. But something still was stirring inside of me. If I had not obeyed to write that testimony one year ago, this probably wouldn’t have surfaced. I would still be in a state of secrecy, so would the men of ACF, and so would the men of CC. No, men shouldn’t have to keep in secrecy. If brought in the light the Lord can forgive that sin! It’s not because the sin is too strong for the Lord to clean, it’s actually because we are too ashamed to do anything realistic about it.

Now this is where we stand. A few men in that room shared a vision. No. We don’t want to see others suffer as we did. No. We don’t want others to hide in their shame as we did. No. If only a spark begins, a fire results. A spark started in one person’s heart can affect so many people in the future.

I am proposing something that was revealed this weekend. Cooperatively as men, I am encouraging you to seek out this area of your life, I am not only encouraging you but the Lord is commanding you to do likewise. What I am proposing is not only accountability partners, for this would only serve people who have already come to terms with their sin. What I am proposing is a network for boys and men to share their struggles and their victories over sin. I know this is already available, for there is already Promise Keepers and other internet chat groups where help is available. But these are not really accessible to people we may know are struggling. I am proposing a network in which we can begin sharing our lives to those we know most dearly. Here are a few things that need to be done NOW and are part of this vision:

1)We must start sharing to those around us about what has happened this weekend (if you went to CC), or we must start sharing about our sins to other men and not be ashamed of it.

2)A few who are very convicted and aren’t ashamed to write their testimonies, please do so and hopefully this network will have a bank of people’s experiences and struggles.

3)We must start looking for leaders and men of faith for advice to look over this endeavor.

Just like drunk driving, if we know the consequences ahead of time, we will avoid drinking at first. In the same way, for the young who don’t know the consequences, we can help deter them away by sharing what we have been through. For those who are immediately in the battlefield, they can be encouraged that they are not in the battle alone and can be encouraged that other brothers are willing to fight with them.

Bless the Lord for all that He has done. Keep praying for this vision and movement that has spawned.

If you wish to read my testimony (warning!) please contact me by email and I'll be happy to send it to you.

:: Jesse 11:43 PM

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THE HAIR IS GONE!!! More pics to come, these weren't focused properly on my digi cam. I left a little "ham sup" curl in my hair but had to shave it off before going to McDonalds. It was looking good originally before Rob too off the #1 clip and shaved a hole into the left side of my head.. .eventually I had to shave my entire hair off my skull. Feels SO GOOD to have no hair to worry about. I went to visit my work today for permission to shave my head. We'll see what dirty looks I'll get tmrw!

:: Jesse 10:52 PM

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Wow it's been a while. Hahaha Joanne's birthday was SOOOOO FUNNY!!! But by her request I am not to say anything of what happened or show any parts of the gift me and Richard got her. Doh... would definitely make a funny blog entry. Oh... so much temptation to tell you... ohh.... must hold back.

Aww man. That means I have nothing to say. Poo. But has anyone seen the episode called "Drone" on Smallville? I couldn't get my hands on the most recent and raved episode "Crush" but man this episode was so stupid. There was this scene, and I think all of you know which one it was... when Ma Kent was running away from the swarm of bees and they do this mondo slow cheesy slow action shot and she's got this stupid look on her face as she begins to trip with her arms up wailing in the air... hahaha it was pathetic. I think even though I am a loyal Smallville fan, that scene did it. HAhaha.

Toronto was nice. Guess what? I think we're almost sure (it's up to my mom) that we're getting a dog. We visited this breeder and found this really cute personality black pomeranian that was four years old and was abandoned by its owner at the kennel when they left for HK. Wow... we're even considering in installing fencing in the backyard just for the dog, and my mom can't get over the fact that the dog is gonna smell and she may not like the smell. Jeez... and she wants the dog and I'm barely gonna be home to train it... my fears are that she's gonna only scream at the dog and the dog is gonna be so confused and what not... poo... oh it will be so nice having a doggy... I like doggies... wanna rollerblade with them... but a pom isn't quite a rollerbladable dog. Here is some info on it... yay... doggie=fun.

:: Jesse 2:46 PM

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Images from my room in London... just for you to see! I'm so bored now. I start work on the 20th. What am I gonna do till then? See all the weapons? brrrrr....




These are from the rest of the apartment... and the infamous "picture wall".

:: Jesse 11:40 PM

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WHHHHHHAAATTTTTT??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? The LORD IS SO FAITHFUL!!!! I knew He would deliver in the end! I knew in my heart, after learning this year to listen to the spirit and to follow in his footsteps... the Lord blesses so abundantly! He does so more than we could EVER imagine! Watching this summer unfold has been absolutely incredible. From the very first inclination to stay and to honour the Lord, to an abandonment from family expectations and culture, to trusting and building faith in the Lord, to walking every step unsure of the flesh but cetain of the spirit, that the Lord would be faithful if he called me to do his will and I obeyed. How incredible. I just received the phone call from Pathways, the initial company I saw back on April 22nd, and I knew immediately that the Lord wanted me there this summer... I just had to wait it out and walk in trust, not to be swayed back and forth. There were so many temptations and discouragements along the way, from family, friends, myself, telling me that I was doing a foolish thing, and now the Lord has answered just the first request: my job. I will hold him to the promise that he desires to teach me all about intimacy this summer. I am SO EXCITED! YAY!!! SOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD!!!!!

Lesson Learned: Honour the Lord your God, have his requests above yours and He will provide, because he is the faithful father that is described countless times throughout the bible!!!!

On another note, have you ever played tennis in the rain? Other than soggy unresponsive tennis balls that don't bounce much and drinking ground water everytime you hit the ball, it's actually a really peaceful thing to do! Oh yeah... and spending 4 hours in Timmy Hos without even realizing time passes, just cuz you're enjoying the company of another... wow. Praise the Lord!

:: Jesse 3:01 PM

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Weird. After trying to format my horribly destroyed virus infected home computer, I came across this image from years ago. Kinda humourous... Rachel Leigh Cook... guess I did have a thing for her back then. Ho ho ho. Oh wells.

:: Jesse 11:38 AM

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French toast with strawberry puree. $15

Agora, the restaurant in the Art Gallery of Ontario is absolutely incredible. Talk about fine dining! I was graciously treated for my birthday with Richard by Priscilla for a wonderful brunch consisting of some rabbit "mousse" for appetizer. Hahaha. Never had rabbit before. Tastes a bit like chunky tuna.

It was nice seeing Toronto once again. I must admit I was kinda scared in returning, like always, not knowing what to expect, not knowing what you're gonna be so surprised to hear about because you've been lost in alot of things, etc etc etc. I seemed to have strolled down Queen Street just a bit too much this weekend. Attempting to eat at Sushi Bistro (my fav Japanese Restaurant) with my parents, we walked up and down Queen looking for another one. My mother started talking to strangers about their dogs and such. Kinda weird, my mom all dressed up in Sunday clothes, talking to some street people about their dogs... she's normally one to stare and criticize them but now that she's thinking of a dog to own, she's interested in anyone with one. She has all these criteria to meet: can't shed alot... wait... I think that's all. Any suggestions to a breed of dog? I was thinking of a Lab Retriever, something loyal and easy to take care of. I personally love Samoyeds but they'd shed everywhere and they're really hyper dogs. Maybe a bulldog. They're kinda dumb. Ho ho ho... but after reading Carol's blog about her incident finding an abandoned dog, I hope my mom thinks twice before doing this. It's so strange... my mom would never think about getting a dog.

Ooooh wells. Interview with the graphic design company on friday went much better than expected. I hope to hear from them on Wednesday, but till now I guess I have that TD job as a backup. Anyways, I'm so thankful for the Lord's provision and I'm beginning to understand what it means to trust in the Lord and honor him, and he'll provide the rest.

:: Jesse 9:12 AM

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Wow. I spent ALL day making this portfolio. Turns out I got an interview for good job here in London for graphic design, so I mustered up all the work I've done these past few years. Too bad a lot of it was lost with my formats and viruses. I think I've lost about 75 percent of my work, and I have nothing to prove it. Oh wells... that's a reminder to you folks to back up frequently!

Praise the Lord! I got the TD Canada Trust job! It's not my number one choice, but I know there's a backup if this job fails! I was just worrying the other day about what was to happen and the Lord answered by providing a job AND an interview! Yay! We'll see how this goes.

:: Jesse 5:21 PM

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WOW HAVEN'T BLOGGED IN A WHILE. Well I really like how Caleb writes his blogs. He always has a lesson learned from every experience. So cool. I think I'll try something along the lines of that. Well there has been so much happening in the past few days, I'll try to back things up.. slowly.

April 28th, Sunday.
MY BIRTHDAY! Woohoo 22 years of age. Craziness. I figured out, that that's 11 years older than being 11. It was so good cuz I got the choice of what to do for the day, and everyone had to tag along. So guess what... Pad Thai (drenched in Hoi Sin Sauce... you can play tic tac toe on your food with it!) followed by 4 hours of Smallville.
Lesson Learned: No matter how much you may like Lana Lang, 4 hours of Smallville is just a bit too much. A bigger lesson learned? 4 hours of Smallville that you've already seen is too much.

Well things weren't going all to great at home and I was getting a lil depressed about things. I couldn't even go home to Toronto cuz of issues and well that just made it that much more Bleah. I walked into bible study that night, expecting for Jessica's farewell meeting, and well there were decorations, and Pam came and gave me the biggest motherly hug. I think that healed some open wounds. Bible study was so wonderful, just sending off Jessica as she is to return to Taiwan for good. Ohhh... and the wonderful cake :) I was so blessed that night.
Lesson Learned: The Lord will bring the proper people at the right time to bless you and encourage you in your moments of loneliness and bleahness. He knows how to fulfil your heart.

April 29th, Monday.
Arg. Still had an exam. Well that went decent and I went over to help Shao out with her computer problems. She's so funny... we ended up formating everything. She had a virus on her computer and she thought she could wipe it out by copying windows 2000 over it. Man was the computer slow. Hahaha. Well 11 of us went to go try to play some pool but the pool hall was closing. So what happened? Because no one else really had any ideas, I suggested going to play at the tire park at this golf course. Well it was 11:00pm, and the park was a privately owned one. Well, probably because I had just finished my exam and wasn't thinking entirely properly, I led the 11 of us to go play in the park. It was fun. Until these headlights appeared. "I know we shouldn't have done this," Rob would keep repeating to everyone... man... I felt so bad.

"Okay. What are you guys doing here." - Cop
"Um... we were playing." - Me
"Did you notice that there's a chain blocking the entrance?" -Cop
"Um... yes."
"Who are the drivers of the 2 cars parked there?"
2 hands go up
"Okay, I want everyone's ID and after please proceed to stand over there."

Man, it felt so bad when we were in that circle, not knowing what we could be charged with. There were some people in the group that had never dealt with cops. Me on the other hand, seemed to have dealt with cops so many times (not all times being a culprit). "I know we shouldn't have done this... I told you so..."- Rob. Yeah yeah... Connie gave me evil eye continuously for those 15 minutes of waiting.

Thank God we were let go... we could have been charged with 130 bucks of trespassing!

Lesson Learned:
1. Don't bring Rob around with you.
2. If you bring Rob, listen to Rob.
3. Don't play on a tire park.
4. Don't play on a private tire park.
5. Don't play on a private tire park that is chained up.

April 30th, Tuesday
Well this day was eventful. I tried looking for jobs and just sent resumes everywhere. Grrr... London job market sucks rocks. Big round rocks. Ended up taking the whole afternoon and walked to the restaurant where we were seeing off Jessica. Dinner was a blast. I got some really nifty gifts. Baby Jess (Caleb in case you don't know) got me the best gift ever. A razor. Once I get my job, I'll look like Caleb. Then people won't be able to distinguish us apart. Too bad that boy is headed to the mainland this summer. Yeah... and I got a carton of milk from Amanda... I couldn't even finish it without thinking of the consequences to come. Hahah.

Well we headed to Canaan's to catch the hockey game. YAY. We win. Out pops another cake. Yay. So sweet. Got some really nice golf gloves from the boyz and Cynthia, and a tiger woods shirt. Sweeeeet. Well Victor did something I'll never forget. I guess I embarassed him silly at the banquet in writing him something, well he came around and wrote this really heart touching poem entitled: 35. (basically where this guy saw me when I'd be 35 and why). Well Victor is the master surprise and that boy had something planned. He came back with 18 glowsticks. We all got taped up and proceeded to go out and play some wicked night football, something we hadn't done in ages. It was INCREDIBLE. Not only was the sky totally clear (there are 5 planets in the sky!!!) the weather was awesome and the game was even better. Half way through, Rob took a dove for the ball, and came up with his finger in the shape of a W. DISGUISTING!!! Hahaha Jasper came around and just snapped it back into place. Yuck. It was like a wet click.

Well because we were so loud and almost had another scare in which headlights highbeamed at us, we went to this place Victor suggested. Man was it nice... dock by the thames river, wonderful skyline, blankets and everything! That was the Dawson Creek part. Man, Victor knew all along how much I adore the stars, that boy had this all planned. What a guy. So sweet. It was a day to remember for a LONG TIME.

Lesson Learned: Be thankful for the times and moments you have with the ones the Lord blesses you with, and cherish that. Show them back your appreciation and do likewise.

:: Jesse 5:35 PM

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