:: Wednesday, December 25, 2002 ::

Here I am... sitting here with my Cat beside me, I had to pull away my hand from her grasp cuz I have to write this journal entry with two hands.

Yes. Christmas is here. Well, being oh so lucky with a sore throat and inability to speak, I was stuck at home all alone today while everyone else in my family is out eating Indian food at my cousin's. That's okay. The more to think about and the more silence alone never does anyone any harm.

Yes. Christmas is here. Amongst the frenzy, Priscilla did get her wisdom teeth out, and now she's all puffed up like Kirby. She's got her wonderful package of cool Green Giant corn niblets on one cheek at a time, and everytime I make her smile I end up hurting her. That's gotta suck. Spent quite a while at their place teaching her sister Sarah how to bang a djembe or bongo. My hands hurt like mad afterwards.

Yes. Christmas is here. Gifts... gifts... gifts... this year I spent quite a lot of time on my gifts. All I can say now is: APRONS ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND!!! I mean simple... black... or white... plain... solid... aprons... NOWHERE. I spent... I spent forever searching for aprons for a gift idea. Oh wells... amongst the gifts I got this year:

1. Play-do Mr.Dentist - from my sister... it's awesome. You make molds of teeth out of white play-do, then you drill it, then you fill them with Gold fillings! Awesome!!! You even make his tongue out of play-do too. Too bad the teeth weren't solid like our dentoforms so the white play-do wouldn't contaminate the gold fillings. RUBBER DAM! WHERE IS MY RUBBER DAM???

2. Big Heart Pillow - from my cousins... I'm never gonna hear the end of it from my roommates when I bring it back...

3. Old Navy Pajama pants - my cousins once again... they really wanted to find the most embarassing pair... you'll never see them...

4. "Rocky" style Bath Robe - once again, my cousins... they're pretty clever... my old one had sleeves that came only down to my elbows. It's got a hoodie.

5. National Geography Field Guide to Photography - from the wonderful Steph Ting... how did she know I wanted something JUST like this??? It's so helpful!

6. Armani GIQ and Perry Ellis Leather Gloves - from my hunny. Yes... Jesse will wear cologne. Then perhaps, Jesse will wear Deodorant too.

7. SD Kendo man - from Matthew... what a cool gift. If only I had a digicam to take a pic of it... it's so cute, this lil superdeformed kendo man from Japan.

Yes. Christmas is here. Yes. Jesus came down on this day in a manger... only to be led to be slain for our sake... He IS the ultimate Christmas gift.

Wherever you may be, either collecting KK memorabilia and going crazy on your game stations, or taking pictures of your dog as a reindeer, or squeeling up and down singing Sound of Music, or eating Porage, or spending time with a special someone who is related to Ken Hung, or in Guelph with relatives, or at home suffering swelling, or in Disney Land having a heatblast, or madrushing around Toronto cuz you're headed back to Germany soon, or you're Bernard Lo and you have big pectorals, remember,

Merry Christmas.

:: Jesse 11:19 PM

 (0) comments
...

Yay. These past few days have been so incredible. I normally dread the holidays but this time around, it's been really really really awesome. I've made 3 nice trips to Walmart already. You can almost find anything there... but NOT aprons (part of my gift ideas), or "cellophane"... Pris calls it "celluphite" like "cellulite"... hahaha. She needs to get her wisdom teeth out on Monday. And for all you dental students or dentally inclined people, she's getting her 18, 38 and 48's out... and her 48 is an impacted wisdom tooth going perpendicular to the 47, with the roots almost piercing into the inferior alveolar nerve... the dental surgeon said that in about a week, she would have felt numbness in her chin and teeth of her right side jaw.

After reading Billy's recent journal about "home" and London, it's awfully true how I too am still so caught in calling one or the other the appropriate name. London has really changed recently for me, with ACF really growing, having a different roommate, being in a different program and having a whole different crowd of classmates around me, home is all of a sudden feeling a lot more normal and recognizable these days. Family time seems to be much more important, shopping lists for xmas gifts have shrunken by 4 fold from years past... yum cha with the rents ain't that bad anymore! I do look forward to returning to London and return to the antics of Jesh, the yelps of Derek, the oinks of Ellen, the head nods of Krista, the head bashing of Nancy, and the no-show-ers of Billy...

Guess who I saw tonight? STEVE WONG!!! Yeah... he's in town. I was talking to him on the phone the other day...

"Wow... Steve! Cool... haven't talked to you in a while!"
"Yeah... I know (typical Steve response)"
"So... ummm... (thinking of something clever to say)... what time is it over there?"
"It's noon."
"Wait a minute... it's noon here too."
"Yeah... I'm here in T.O."

haha... and that's how I found out.

Well he was there tonight... at Matt Mark's incredibly big party. There were a lot of shoes. There were a lot of strangers too. There were a lot of CAMERAs too. There was a point in time where Steve Wong, Erica, Matt, and I took out our cameras and were going pyscho. All I know is... my gear sucks and is pretty simple too. Oh well... gets the job done! Erica was almost drooling over Steve's big 200mm lenses.

:: Jesse 1:07 AM

 (0) comments
...

Wow. I'm in Toronto now. It feels so foreign yet feels so nice and warm. I miss my cat. My cat is the fattest cat in the world... and she's even on a diet and looks leaner than before!!!

It's kinda weird, I actually enjoyed writing these last stretch of exams. Though I may have not performed well, let's just say that for once, I really wanted to thank the Lord that I had the gift of learning, and it really helped me put the stuff I learned into perspective... how often we complain about something that is such a privledge and honour to have?

After a whole semester, you tend to look back in recollection of the stuff that you've learned, the people you've met, and the things you have accomplished. I must say that what has happened in the last 4 months would generally occur during a whole year, but nonetheless, I am extremely thankful for God's providence. Let me tell you why:

1. Companions: Dentistry is 4 years long. God brought a bunch of beautiful people into my life, and pretty much encorporated them into the friends and people I already knew in London. Jesh Tse, Billy Yu, Derek Leung, Ellen Park, Krista Lee, Nancy Wat... pretty much the Asian Posse. These people have helped me through my studies, been there to accompany as we did long days and nights of studying, been there to watch scary movies and scare each other, been there to sleep through class, and been there to play racquetball and slap each other's backs when we lost a point... these guys are pretty much family now. I get so sick of them everyday, but the next morning, I can't wait to see them again. All the best to you guys during this holiday... spend it well and be thankful for what God has given you.

2. Studies: I can finally say now: I love school!!! I love to learn... when I got back to Toronto, I ended up talking about teeth, gum disease and periodontitis with my parents. I love this stuff! I think teeth are so cool cuz we all got problems with them, and we're all somewhat fluent in some knowledge of teeth, so it really matters to some people too! Yay. I thought I'd go crazy by this time of the year.

3. Church: I finally found a church in London that I can see myself growing and learning and serving in the next 4 years. I've been at LCAC (according to Josh... it's L-Kak) for the last 3 years, and I know that my time of service is over there, and God has really brought me to Wortley Baptist Church through my boss in the summer (he's an elder there) and my co-worker who takes me now. More to come on that...

4. Challenges: God has been... letsay... "tweaking and poking" at parts of my life that I struggle with. This first semester, I've already had to deal with materialism, being too comfortable and asking for challenges, doing devos at 6am in the morning, evangelizing to classmates and professors, working on patience, and... well... the list goes on and on.

5. And finally... someone who's definitely a warm cookie in my tummy, Priscilla (or the way my roommate spells her name on my messages, PRESILLA)... who has to stomach and deal with all my inequities, all my quirks, all my annoyances and impatience... I'm such a piece of poo... but yet somehow (must be by the Grace of GOD) that she finds me bearable. I don't get it. I really don't.

Well as the Christmas season/holiday begins... let's all remember Jesus. That's why we have joy in our hearts!

:: Jesse 11:34 AM

 (0) comments
...

It's Thursday!!! Finished 3 exams and I got 2 more to go... I'm actually having a really productive day... finding it quite interesting studying the anatomy of the head and neck...

Christmas is almost here! There are so many parties going on, I'm contemplating whether or not I should have that annual christmas party at my place. There's a bunch of people who are going to NYC this new Years, but interestingly enough, Priscilla will be in NYC for the whole week before... dunno if she really wants to return there yet again. Looking into night skiing and joining in on the celebrations at the base of the hill for fireworks and live band...

Dunno... all these years I've been attending church services for the new years celebrations... and recently I've been going for the sake of going and tradition. Maybe things will be different this year... dunno... maybe this is all about me getting a bit older too.

Speaking of getting older, I had this conversation with Christina's cousin... who's pretty athletic and into track and field. This guy is so fit that a few days away from training will set this guy back considerably... now looking at me, I haven't seen the gym since the 2nd week of September. My posture is like the leaning tower of Pisa, and my muscles feel like jelly. Hmmmm maybe a new year's resolution? I find it quite hard cuz you can work like mad on your body, then a week off can pretty much wipe out any progess you've made... but if I keep that mentality now, I might just end up like my dad... round and chunky... hopefully not bald too.

Christmas time as you get older becomes a period in which you find it difficult with the limited time to say your words of love to people you haven't seen all year long. By the time you've caught up to each other's lives, you end up leaving back to your daily routines... why can't we pick off where we were last and look to the future in time to spend or things to say and do? Perhaps that's what consistent communication and friendship is all about... that when the times you have together, it's pretty much about the present and future, not always about the past... talking so much about the past makes you feel that you're always catching up to something you may never achieve.

Christmas gifts... another thing I struggle in... I feel either extremely guilty in receiving something, or extremely exhausted in giving multiple gifts and receiving a look of utter disappointment from the few that you lacked time to get a present for... sometimes I ask those around me not to get me gifts at this time, cuz well... that's what birthdays are for, and it's quite easy to get wrapped up in holiday cheer instead of Jesus cheer. I'm debating whether or not to invest in the time to go along with this festive ritual in mad shopping, or to perhaps spend the time more wisely with people I haven't seen... maybe that would be a wiser gift. Nonetheless, mother and father always feel jyped at this time of the year so I better brainstorm pretty hard to get them something meaningful this year.

Family Xmas dinners are always funny for me... until recently. 2 years ago, my grandmother passed away, and that was a pretty interesting time. My immediate cousins from my mother's side (the only ones that live in Canada) and our family spent the entire xmas sorting out funerals, having dinners, and pretty much spending mondo time together. Last Christmas, my aunt on the same side of the family passed away, and my parents had to go to San Fran to the funeral... wasn't quite a joyous time... this year, hopefully the thought of death won't be around to distract us on celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I can still remember our family xmas dinners... Ju Ma (aunt) would make a killer turkey and POTATO SALAD - THE BEST FREAKING POTATO SALAD IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE>>> THE WAY GOD INTENDED IT TO BE MADE... Emily and Angela (my cousins) would be stirring the gravy, my dad and Ju Ju (uncle) would be cutting the turkey with the electric knife, my mother would be complaining on why her dish doesn't taste that good (cuz well... it doesn't taste that good year to year), my sister and I would probably be setting up the table, and my grandma would be inching around slowly, unable to hear any of our comments, nor even remember our names (she had a late serious onset of Alzheimers)... but the meal would be finished in a matter of seconds (I'd GET FULL ON POTATO SALAD AND POTATO SALAD ONLY), we'd wash the dishes, my uncle would talk to me about computer stuff, the "kids" would rush on down to the basement to avoid the parents as they would watch some Chinese stuff, and we'd play board games or watch some cheesy movie...

then as we're all tired, we'd go sit under their small 5 foot christmas tree, on our butts, so excited like little kids every year (my oldest cousin is now 28 and married) , open each other's gifts and laugh and get all excited... maybe that will happen this year... but it's one of those "Wonder Years" moments in which you sit back and appreciate in awe of how God has been so good.

:: Jesse 4:00 PM

 (0) comments
...

Just finished my first final as a dental student. It's one of those exams where you scutter outside right after the exam and look over your notes and punch yourself for missing out on such crucial information. I'm so impatient... I hate staying to the very end so instead I find myself rushing out of the exam as soon as possible... reminiscent of those HORRIBLE Royal Conservatory History examinations... wonderful scores of 65 and 59.5... hey what can you expect when you're in grade 7 and all of your friends are doing cool stuff and all you're doing is heading downtown (which takes like a whole day from markham) for one measily hour of sweaty nasty humid class at St.George, only to be so overwhelmed that you're the youngest geek out of all the other older geeks, and wish you could just get out and finish that stupid exam at the end. Oh yeah... Bach... Baroque? Er?

Studying has been very different this time around. Perhaps because I ACTUALLY need to maintain some of this information in order to be a Sound dentist. Nonetheless, it's funny seeing the reactions on others faces when you're staring at dentoforms (kinda like a set of dentures) when studying in the exam. Like Ellen has described on her blog, yes... we do really silly things with these dentoforms... Mr.Man's tongue is quite palpatable, quite a stress reliever to press against.

Here's a list of "You're studying too hard to be a dentist when..."
5. You look at those big bubbles in a pizza after coming out fresh of the oven, and you push at it and palpate it like a lymph node and say "Compressible".
* BTW, when I was younger, I used to call them "Luckly Pops" and whenever you eat into one of them, you can make a wish and it will come true. Same goes for oily chips.

4. You are talking to your friends and you begin to classify their occlusion, or look for white spots that indicate fluorosis... or even guess which teeth they got pulled out because of orthodontics!

3. Your dentoform tells you it's hungry and wants wine gummies too.

2. You laugh at Jesh's jokes.

1. All the websites you visit are those of your classmates, even though you see them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.


I'm so excited for the holidays! I'm having difficulty trying to find a ride back to Toronto that would also house my chinchilla, but looks like I may just have to leave her here and see if she can hibernate. Plans are slowly coming into place ... I can't write anymore because Ellen is looking over my shoulder. Bye!

:: Jesse 1:33 PM

 (0) comments
...

Yay. A new face to the blogging industry... Ellen Park my wonderful and crazy Korean classmate. Actually she's writing an entry right beside me now... and she probably won't realize that I can make fun of her quite a bit now that she needs to check my site more often.

Here's a lil synopsis on Ellen Park.
Name: Ellen Park
Profession: Dentistry
Age: 23
Undergrad School: U of T
High School: Woburn... interestingly friends of Will Lau and Jensen Tan, and Gina Kim, who interestingly is also in dentistry.
Mannerisms: Left eye wink - Open up both eyes extremely big for a millisecond, "Moot ah".
Likes: Many schoolbags, Harvey's Cheeseburgers.
Skills: She can make really good Bulgogi.
Things that surprise me: One day she came into class with her hair parted on the other side of her head... made her look like a totally different person, oh yeah... and she doesn't listen to Kpop.
Embarrassing Moments: um... she'll kill me cuz she's Korean... oh yeah... on the first day I met her, she comes up to me with 2 other girls from my class. The first one's name is Bahara, and she says, "You can call me B!" Her friend Zi Ming says, "You can call me Z!" Then Ellen says with this extremely excited look on her face and squinted eyes, "You can call me E!" Hahaha, I think I could have called them the 3 little pigs.

:: Jesse 5:17 PM

 (0) comments
...

Totally disabled... I had a horrible case of the stomach flu... I still do. It couldn't be what Billy fed me the night before cuz he's totally fine himself. It actually hurts to type too.... yeesh... I was in the hospital last night to get a wonderful shot of Gravol in my bum. Not too happy but it stopped me from puking every 10 minutes. I'm sort of afraid cuz I missed some pretty important classes and quizzes... hopefully I'll be able to catch up.

I had a total of 18 hours of sleep in the last 24 hours. Not bad... gotta let my aching muscles beat it out for just a bit more...

:: Jesse 1:21 PM

 (0) comments
...

Me, Jesh and Billy... I stole yet another pic from Billy's website... I find it hard to scan and develop b and w pics... Billy says that soon he's going to copyright his images.. but for now I have co-ownership because he's using my flash. This picture was from our ACF Christmas potluck... it was so nice to see over 50 people dine in on yummies.



Oh yeah... to the NTCBC crew who check the website... there's Vicky!

I came back from a Christmas Tree farm. Let me tell you.. this is unbelievable... and only if I had the pictures to back up my statement... this place was literally a cozy amusement park and tree farm... there you could play broomball, get lost in a hedge maze, make gingerbread men, walk around and make candles, see a blacksmith make a real nail for you, ride ponies, play with sheep, eat lots of sausages and pretty much have some really nice outdoor fun. This place is owned by my coworker's parents, who being Christian gave a real biblical atmosphere to the place... there's Baby Jesus lane, with lots of verses tacked into the trees all over the place. So nice.

I've never procrastinated so badly for exams. Maybe because I've been keeping up an hour a day... it feels like I have nothing to study, or either I'm too confident, or either I don't want to study... or either it maybe really works to keep up with exams an not need to cram! I have no idea... but I've been spending more time at home with my roommates and let me tell ya... I really miss that... plus I'm playing a lot more with Dong Goo these days... I let her run out of her cage quite often... doesn't mean at all that she trusts me one bit... everytime I go and grab her, a whole tuff of hair comes out too.

I got the new Nichole Nordeman CD, "Woven and Spun". I was a bit disappointed... her first CD had about 5 favourites, her second had like 4... but on this CD I've only come to like one track, called "I am".

Here are the lyrics:

* I Am *
(by Nichole Nordeman 2002 Ariose Music)

Pencil marks on a wall, I wasn't always this tall
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed.
You watched my team win, and watched my team lose
Watched when my bicycle went down again

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
And I said Elbow Healer, Superhero, come if you can
You said, I Am

Only sixteen, life is so mean
What kind of curfew is at 10 pm?
You saw my mistakes and watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I'd never love again

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
And I said Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper, be my best friend
You said, I Am

You saw me wear white by pale candlelight
I said 'forever' to what lies ahead
Two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
Too much it might seem when it is 2 am.

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
Oh, Shepherd Savior, Pasture Maker, hold on to my hand
You said, I Am

The winds of change and circumstance
Blow in and all around us
So we find a foothold that's familiar
And bless the moments that we feel you nearer

When life had begun I was woven and spun
You let the angels dance around the throne
Who can say when, but they'll dance again
When I am free and finally headed home

I will be weak, unable to speak, still I will call You by name
Creator, Maker, Life Sustainer
Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer
Lord and King, Beginning and the End
I Am, I Am


Well I have 5 exams in 7 days. Quite a lot... but I'll be finished on the 16th... thing that kinda sucks is my boss asked me to do some stuff to the Pathways website before I go... that means I'll probably get out of London by the 18th. So no matter what, I always end up leaving quite late every year.

Dentistry has been pretty intense these days. We had a lecture a while ago when a dentist came in and spoke originally on the topic of fluoride, but sidetracked about talking about the 2 tier system of dentistry, and how the wealthy can afford and the poor have no means of the basics. It makes me wonder how incredible it was to have been at Pathways, working with people on welfare and understanding their lifestyle. It's hard to get a 22 year old single mother amongst all her troubles and worries to a place far away to have her front 2 teeth that she tripped over and broke removed instead of treated with root canal and crown to replace them because it's too expensive. Makes ya wonder how we as dentists really can make a difference... most dentists would find it hard to schedule a patient who would only be able to pay half the price of a regular patient and require much more patience and time to track them down and maintain them.

Well I'm attempting to continue on in my study... oh for those of you who are wondering what I learn in first year of dentistry... here's a lowdown:

Anatomy: Most people ask me... if you're a dentist, why on earth do you have to learn about the whole body? The reason why is in order to understand the most complex region of the body (the head and neck), you must have an appreciation for the way the rest of the body works. And honestly... the rest of the body is quite simple and straightfoward. The neck and head alone are quite overwhelming. We finished an undergraduate full year course in anatomy in 2 months!

Anatomy Lab: Yup... we work on cadavers and cut em up and study them... at first I was quite grossed out by the sight or smell... but now it feels like a model to work on... now we're discecting the temporal fossa region, the area right under your cheek bone, the edge of your jaw and to the lips. There's some pretty important blood vessels and nerves we're learning about.

Oral Medicine: In this course, we pretty much learn about the clinical examination... what to do when we are with a patient... what protocol when we're assessing them... this is fun because we get to exam each other in class. some funny things that happen are when we're making impressions of one another's teeth and the gooey stuff gets all stuck in the other person's mouth.

Occlusion: Occlusion is the study of how teeth are formed and come together. Pretty much in this class all we do is study the morphology of one tooth (eg.. canines, molars) and pretty much we need to memorize how they look, how many "mountains" and "valleys" there are... and after all that knowledge, we actually carve the tooth out of wax... this is one of my favourite courses cuz every class is like "art class".

Practice Administration: Yeesh... at the beginning of they year, this course was very interesting, cuz I thought they would hit on the business concepts of running a practice... but now it seems like the course they jam pack everything that doesn't fit into the other courses. We're learning about Fluoride to Peridontal disease? I don't really get it.

Dental Biochemistry: This course is... well... biochem. You never think you'll ever have to know Krebs Cycle or Glycolysis again and then you're shamed right back in the face. Right now we're learning about nutrition... and I think I really need to know that cuz I'm really REALLY unhealthy right now.

Operative Dentistry: This is where we drill and soon will fill. We all have our manequins in our simulation clinic, and we drill on plastic teeth. This course is where we learn all the skills and dexterity to perform well in dentistry... the whole world becomes concentrated into 1/10ths of millimetres. If you're off by 0.3 mm, you go down a grade.

Crazy no? It's fun as ever... and now my chinchilla is going crazy... gotta catch her!

:: Jesse 7:35 PM

 (0) comments
...