:: Thursday, February 27, 2003 ::

Last night I had the most joyous of wonders. I had salmon. It was yummy. Immediately I endured the worst of horrors. Food Poisoning. Wretched. I had to endure about 7 hours with my face partially over the toilet, changing positions from Fetal to outstretched on my bed, yelling for help but no one to avail, screaming to God to take away this nastiness, taking a few gravols and then barfing them back up, and worst of all, knowing about the physiology of the area of my mouth and not being able to rest because my mind keeps thinking about what's going on in the area.

Then I get to school today and in physiology, we learn about VOMITING. Now my mind will never rest. If ever I get stomach ca ca again, my mind will not be able to ward off the retch and vomit reflex, the abdominus rectus and diaphragm muscle flexion and the neural cortex centres and their responsibilities. Wretched.

:: Jesse 8:29 PM

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I find myself at the library once again, having a chance to take a break and get some thoughts down on this journal. I realize that this journal has become more so a recollection of stuff that's been going on in my life, rather than my thoughts, or my perspective or even my worries. There's a time and place for everything right?

Honestly speaking, I've come across a weird dilemna in my life. I have oodles of time. This is odd to hear from a first year dental student, but I find myself the most free with time this semester in comparison to all my years of undergrad. (it's only for this semester, next year my hours go up from 17 to 40 a week!) I thought that with all that free time I would have more time to cook, more time to spend with people, more time to share, more time to spend on hobbies, and more time especially with quiet time with the Lord, like reading books, studying the bible in more depth and journalling like mad.

None of that has happened and it's almost 2 months. I've come to realize that the excuse that you don't have any time is useless. Sure more time gives you more flexibility, but it sure can be lost in a sea of laziness and unthankfulness. Where is most of my free time spent? Well after a stressful first semester, I thought I deserved rest and time alone, but that became like a virus and began to take over everything. I find myself sleeping uncontrollably and wasting time. I've discovered what it meant to dishonour God with my time. When I was barely sleeping and up all the time with school, I was able to dedicate time unto God, both in my studies and in my quiet time. None of that this semester.

Some say this time will pass, but I'm not quite content with time passing to dictate my priorities with God. I've seemed to get by without asking him on little things. The summer is coming back, and memories about how much I had entrusted the summer last year are creeping back, and how I had given God everything and how he totally blessed me back with a wonderful job, a wonderful place in a fellowship, a wonderful insight into my future and a link to the church I now attend. For some odd reason, there's doubt as to if I am capable of entrusting with the same intensity, if not more, to God... like my view of him has diminished.

So I sit here, in the library, thinking that it's time God take a step into this semester. I mean... I gotta take a step back so he can step forward. Don't know how that's gonna happen, but it's gonna.

:: Jesse 10:58 PM

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*From Priscilla*

who's that charming gentleman?? OOOooo...my Tuxedo mask looks handsome doesn't he? The formal was a real blast...I really enjoyed being with the guys and gals of his dentistry crew and meeting all the rest of his classmates. My first time being in a limo was grande...the Hilton was beautiful...i like the bridge...on the dance floor til the end =) It was a wonderful night...Thank you all...Muuaah to my sweetie*


Today we developed pictures in his darkroom...it's so exciting...yay pretty pictures...ummm only it's too bad the film got ruined...and the fumes kinda get to the head =P We just came back from a lovely evening with Caanan and Lynn...yummy Rickshaw restaurant and then to Latin Jazz night at Maggie's Crepes. To the sound of the awesome sax...a lovely teaching couple gave us lessons to Cha cha cha and Jesse the natural Pro star swept me away * smiles and luvs~

:: Jesse 2:11 AM

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Ooh ooh ooh! I'm so excited! Priscilla is here! *that's her in the bathroom prepping her incredible hair, with Christina coming to help in the nick of time*... we have our formal tonight! :) It's like PROM, we have a LIMO and everything... kinda makes me so happy, kinda like we're getting a chance to do something that we missed doing together in our younger years. :) She's gonna be here for the weekend. She probably doesn't check this site often, so I can embarass her all I want here. Well she looks absolutely incredible right now. If only I had a better digi cam so I could get some pics up right now... but that's the best I can do with mine.

Tonight is our Dentistry Formal. Average age: 26. Makes me feel really young. I've been anticipating the for quite a while. I could only get 3 hours of sleep last night :P hope I don't fall asleep on the dance floor. Pictures to come!

:: Jesse 4:48 PM

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My back hurts. My sinuses are infected. I get sick so often these days.
I swear there must be something wrong with me.

On the brighter side of things... if there actually is one... heck... I got an effects pedal for my guitar! Digitech AP200... it can simulate all sorts of sounds... got 2 pedals and 1 modulator. Pretty sweet... though it works better with an electric guitar. Wah wah. I'll probably be getting a message from BLo soon about his opinion or some further questions. hahah.

This Valentine's day entry reminds me of an entry I posted last year when this blog just got started up. Here it is:

:: Thursday, February 14, 2002 ::
Valentine's Day Part 2
My investigation into the odd chemistry behind this odd day continues. Did you know how Valentine's day originated? It is said to have been traced back to sometime in like 400 AD when a King decided that it would not be fit for his soldiers to fight if they had loved ones behind, perhaps having them distracted would lend to him losing the battle. He then decided that soldiers were not allowed to engage in battle if they had a low poh waiting at home with food on the table. Then comes Valentine, the bishop who because he feels the agony of the soldiers who really want a home cooked meal, decides against his loyalty to his majesty and secretly weds soldiers behind the King's back. What a courageous man.

So romantic girls? Well what happens next is the King finds out and demands Valentine to stop. What does the bishop do? He takes a bow and launches an arrow into the King's heart, and that's where Cupid arrises from. Just Kidding.... the king has him KILLED.


Sometime in the 16th century or so, the Pope began filtering out all Pagan rituals and practices, and comes across Valentine's heroic and well not so pagan ritual. He decides to appoint February 14th as the day of St.Valentine, instead of some beast worship feast day or something.


Wonderful. Touching. So 5 centuries later, we find men walking around campus so awkwardly carrying in their arms a dozen roses, along with a matching awkward expression on their face as they think how much more they are going to spend before the girl says thank you. Why can't we be practical with gifts? Here is my idea of a perfect Valentine's day gift that is not only thoughtful, sweet, and cute, it's also practical, cheap, and VERY original.


"Hi Honey! Here's your valentine's day gift! It's very big, to express my BIG heart FULL of LOVE!"


"It's a bag of rice."


"Yes Honey! And each grain of rice will represent every new day we will be sharing together!"


"I don't like rice."


"Oh but Honey! Look at the length of each grain! It represents the longevity of our love for one another! And look how white it is! It represents the purity we have!"


"I want a ring."


"Oh better yet honey! There's a cinammon heart somewhere buried deep within the bag of rice. One day, when you are going to Bow Fan, you will smell the wonderful inscence, representing my devotion to you, which is always there! And your bowl of rice will be red! Red as the desire colouring my heart!"


"I still want a ring."

:: Wednesday, February 13, 2002 ::
Valentine's Day
What an odd evening. Just returned from a successful Men's Cell group and rehearsal of our oh so original reinactment of our counselors Stephen Cheng and Pam and Roger Shuttleworth. Stumbling across Amanda Li's room were a whole hoard of psycho girls. Hahaha. Kinda funny how us guys were somehow smack in the middle of their conversations. Woah. Girls are so weird. I think I've known that for a long time, but, now I think I've just discovered that I can't comprehend how weird they are. This one girl walks in with this HUGE monkey, probably a 200 dollar monkey (stuffed I must add). This is from a guy she just met. Deciding between a CK watch and a phat cologne bottle to give back in return. Woah... who's setting the standards here? The watch ordeal... did you know that a man has the right to a nice watch for his engagement? How expensive can a watch get compared to a diamond ring? Definitely not 4 months wage. ho ho ho. And the only good the watch is for is to see how late the girl is.

"Valentine's day is the only day in the year in which it's for the girl." - insight by one of the girls in that room tonight.


Since when is it ever a day for the guy anyway? Man, watching Rob right now muster around the house, preparing a storm for his lady Christina, I can't help but laugh and do my wonderful homework. Vive la single life!
:: Jesse Wong 11:52 PM [+] ::



Here's what I think about Valentine's a year later.

Well it's interesting, now that I'm actually in a relationship now, and you'd wonder that things would be different this year around. Kinda funny how Richard comes up with a lot of insight... good surprisingly... and it's his analogy on roses. See... what you do is, you give a rose to a girl everytime you forget her. So for Valentine's day... "Look Honey! No roses for you! I love you!" And in the case that you forget her... "Honey look! 12 roses!" This will slowly make her realize how temporary flowers are, and also how temporary your forgetfulness will be too. It will also acentuate tolerance, saving money, and less importance on this Hallmark Holiday!

Seriously, it's really tough not to get sucked into the whole "Oh that's so sweet" deal and "If you were a good boyfriend, you would send her this and that and bring her here and there" and pretty much get whipped. Why on earth do couples get so entangled with Valentine's day? Perhaps everytime you walk into a mall at this time of the year, everything is red and pink. Red and pink can drive the nation crazy. It can also send a girl into her memory banks to all those movies like The Wedding Planner, 2 Weeks Notice.... and what can the guy do? If he denies it, he gets slapped... or gets it from her girlfriends. No fair. Everytime a guy says a word like "Warcra..." or "Go Leafs G..." or "Rapto..." they get slapped.

This obviously doesn't apply to me because Priscilla is not only incredible, but she is also extremely tolerant. What can be done on this day? Think about how you can treat her like a lady everyday!!! That's my conclusion. Nothing more, nothing less.

:: Jesse 1:12 AM

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It's incredible how time passes by so quickly, and how it's so difficult to write down these fleeting thoughts and emotions that come along with it.

I've realized that I've ventured into another era of my life. After heading back to Toronto once again for Chinese New Year's, things have really changed since. Things in our apartment back in London have changed as well, and for the better I must add. It was great having Rob there when we were both considering in serving next year for ACF. Some of our prayers and sharing really helped us both conquer this daunting and confusing thought process. So as of now, Rob will be serving as Chairperson, and I will be serving with him as Worship Coordinator.

It almost only makes sense... after 4 years in Western that we finally take upon a role of serving the fellowship that has flown us miles ahead in our walk with God. It was as if it were yesterday, in second year, that Rob and I would lug our new worship equipment weekly to fellowship and to church to serve. It's been about 2 years since the two of us have served together, and I am bursting inside with excitement for the following year.

I've discovered a new church in London, and it's called Wortley Baptist Church. It's not a baptist church anymore, since 3 years ago it shedded that denomination and became more focused in the word rather than in rituals. It's incredible. 1 congregation, about 300 members, a devoted pastoral team of 3, a focused worship team (one of them is a dentist!), a passionate congregation and a really good library! My boss from the summer is an elder there and I know that it's not by any coincidence that I was introduced to this church. It's NOT a university church... since there are only a handful of students attending and most of them are with their families anyways. This is a leap out of my comfort zone of the typical Chinese Canadian congregation where serving is expected of you and discipline towards your elders is even more expected of you.

Wortley is a church where the worship setting seems like a show since it is so diverse in music, sign language, solos, testimonies and sermons, but miraculously, the glory is given to God. I've been to too many churches that music is cranked absolutely too high, a thin line is crossed where professionalism deters the Spirit, and people are sent to sit in their pews in disguist. I've also seen too many churches where they "try" to be relaxed and informal, and the leadership is then extremely unfocused, or at times, too rehearsed to be informal. At Wortley, they have been able to find that balance where the Spirit is released in full. How? I have no idea. All I know is that the Spirit flows during the service and I can't explain why.

Yeah... their library is EXTENSIVE! I'm used to a chinese library that has alot of books that look extremely boring... and are also in Chinese. I just borrowed a book on Worship, and a biography on Amy Carmichael (Karyn's role model... common to many sisters) written by Elisabeth Elliot (Richard's role model. hahaha). Wow. Such a wealth of books... I don't have to go and spend a fortune anymore.

:: Jesse 10:41 AM

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